I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
