i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
