sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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