ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
