I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
nutella sex= disaster
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
