mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
