Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
