she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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