Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
