so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Bring me that man meat
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
