I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
