ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Randomize
