Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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