how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
