You can't motorboat a personality
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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