I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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