i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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