Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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