bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
