I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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