loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
