thus making me awesome and them whores
they need to just BURY HIM!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
