Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
