No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
