How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
