when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
