Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
