just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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