She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
