Porn is love you can see.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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