Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
