So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
