He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
