I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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