Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
