I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
And then my night got REAL pukey
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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