After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
