I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
