dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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