i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
