no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
