What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
