I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
