I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
