i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
