he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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