I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
