Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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