I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
