No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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